EYES & TEARS-TRUE CONVEYOR..

Consoling sm1 in pain seemed a tough task before,
It’s TOUGHER to be that sm1-showed me a person whom I adore.
Sympathizing words could incise deep inside,
I realized this when was barracked & everyone took aside.
Thoughts engulfed me completely, body turned stiff,
Eyes filled with tears, slowly rolling down the cliff.
Tears rolled down one after another & eyes remained close,
So lost in myself that I even forgot to take my breath dose.
Questions were chasing, conditions demanding, answers were out of reach,
Collecting myself, controlling tears by ordering them to immediately cease.
Eyes swollen, tears floating, nothing could I see,
Still scratching the past to look deeper but found no one just me.
Have read in books, heard in stories, situations even force a heart to break,
I was sleeping & waiting silently till now for one day-to rise, to awake.
Broken was my heart, broken was my soul,
Broken was my patience to handle it any more.
Tough time came when I realized that my life is not just mine,
I will have to live for others who would be affected seeing me in spines.
Welcomed the mid night with reddening in my eyes,
Lay on the bed to set a new fresh sight.
Tried to stop thinking, forced myself to relax,
Locking all the memories put into the stacks.
Eyes were closed, heart was dead, alive were the long breaths of mine,
Lost in the silence, searching for the support, hoping things would go fine.
Eyes were sleeping, thoughts were sleeping, night turned everything paralyzed,
Dreams took me into nightlong journey, makings things simplified.
Morning came I opened my eyes, for few seconds unaware of the last night,
Stood up straight with a smile, when a glance on ‘that’ forced me again to fight.
Fighting with my thoughts, fighting with the situation, fighting with the pain that I swallowed,
Thing that reminded me of all this was WET TEARS SPOTS all over my pillow.
Tried to escape, to suppress myself, covering myself behind the walls,
But eyes & tears revealed the reality & easily conveyed it all….

9 Months Pain..

When everyone was talking about their life, a question was raised “ Who can tell the importance of 9 months?” A girl responded. She knew the real meaning of 9 months. No she was not a mother; she was a girl who gave birth 9 months before. And it was not a baby, it was a relationship, a beautiful relationship that was growing on the field of trust, her trust on God, her trust on that person with whom she was sharing her relationship. This baby was growing day by day with maturity in him, faith in him, love in him. The girl & the boy both were very happy with the baby. They nurtured their baby whole-heartedly with no fear, no doubts in them. Leaving all the sweet memories in the light, time was running to go through that dark night, a night that brought a storm with it. A storm that was trying harder to weaken their rope of relationship, to snatch away their baby from them, to sway him along with it.
God was looking everything, the boy was standing; the girl was screaming to protect her baby, to close the windows, to shut the door. Neither did the storm stopped, nor did the boy moved. Girl was left standing at the doors & looking for the baby whom she could see but couldn’t catch. The baby was crying with his arms in the air but the poor girl was not able to protect him. She needed the support, support of her God, support of her love. Baby was being pulled far away & the girl was left alone with no one with her. Suddenly everything was snatched away from her, every dream was lost in that storm of reality, a bitter reality that she was alone, all alone to cry, to yell, to scream. She couldn’t face herself. She was blaming herself for not being so strong to protect her baby, for not being so pure at heart that God didn’t stop the storm.
A baby that was more than anything for that girl was no longer alive, just ashes of the fire was left. The fire of all the memories, those were burning inside her heart. For her, those 9 months were looking like ages that were dedicated to the baby & now even a glimpse of 1-day looks like ages to spend. Now she is all alone, smiling at other’s happiness, crying on her fate & living b’coz she has came in this heartless, emotionless world to do so. She was always there when baby needed her & about that boy…doesn’t he had any responsibilities, shouldn’t he care for the baby?? If he was worried about him why didn’t he come forward to help, to protect his baby, his relationship, his love. Girl was standing at the door with one hand outside the door for the baby & another inside for her love.
When the girl asked the boy the reason for doing all this, he remained silent. That silence was more painful than the shouts of that storm. No one was there who can answer her questions. Who is responsible for all this? The girl for not being able to protect her baby?, The boy for not being able to take a step forward? Or the God for binding them in this relationship & giving them a sweet baby? A baby that came silently with no pain but when he was gone after 9 months, he shattered everything, took all the happiness, left his mum in this darker world where she is still standing for a ray of hope from her love, from her God.
This 9-month pain was not the pain before the birth but it’s the pain felt after the birth of the baby. A pain that is scratching the past, holding the present to protect the future; to get the answer. The answer is yet to come…Whose fault is it?????

Silence…

When silence shouts in air, when no one is around,
A kind of loneliness comes from within and takes me away from surround.
A feeling that can’t be explained, comes like a spark,
That soon becomes light and takes me into the dark.
In light of dark I see just two people together,
Who met to be separated with prayers continuously being uttered.
No one is to blame, no one is happy instead,
We are mere puppets and can’t change our fate.
Delighted by the meeting but in different respect,
One is moving away with a hope of being in touch.
Nobody can change the golden words that are prewritten for all,
But still one wants to fight for getting only falls.
Want to ask a question, why are all not blessed,
If there is equality in God’s court, why only few are kept under shed.
One wants to fight and stop, as fate can’t be changed,
May be someone else is made for him & so my doors are hinged.
I know my destiny is he & no one can help me out,
Neither I want to lose him nor can I go & shout.
When he will be far away with not even his shade,
I will still pray for his success & his ultimate fate.
With a faith in my god I will ask for his happiness forever,
Whether he still remembers me or not I will forget him never.

If I Could....

If I could change my past, I would shuffle those days…
Day when I met u for the first time, will make them younger in age..

Coz I got the meaning of my life only after u stepped into it…
I would love to live 1 day more, if u were to be a part of that day even a bit..

U r my day, u r my way, u r a reason for me to move ahead…I pray every day to God to keep u happy & fine under his shade…..

Someone...

Most painful feeling in life comes when u miss someone,
Someone who is very far away from u,
Someone for whom u care without any bounds,
Someone for whom u pray before any other prayer,
Someone whom u love out of your limits,
Someone with whom u want to be every moment,
Someone with whom u want to share his sorrows,
Someone who always finds u with him regardless of the distance,
Someone whom u can see with your eyes closed,
Someone whom u can hear without his presence,
Someone for whom u wait every day with the strongest hope,
Someone who is in everyone’s heart yet is just yours,
Someone who is not only life of your love but is love of your life..

Prayers….

Days begin early, days end fast,
Time is running & again I m hurt.
Same story is repeating every day,
Creeping to change it but can’t change my way.
Situations getting worse every moment,
I m left alone in a corner with my knees bend.
Pleading to God to stop the time,
Can’t walk more on this endless line.
Lost in d world of sorrow with ignorance everywhere,
Searching for a hope but can’t see anyone near.
Can’t be more patient, can’t bear the pain,
Am tired of living like a lifeless fellow with water running in my veins.
Life is still & m being forced to move,
Following him at every step just to be with him.
Slightest thought of him makes me satisfied & smile,
Time when I was happy for myself is far behind no. of miles.
I think of him in day, I think of him at night,
Suddenly 1 day my inner soul asked me “Am I going right”???
I answered to myself “To live the life as u want”,
My brain was thinking deeply but my heart didn’t respond.
What fate holds for me next I am not aware,
Just want his happiness & success that’s start & end of my prayers.