Follow your heart

Damn I did it once again. I wanted to control, I wanted to pull myself back...but it all failed with a mere look of it. Very carefully I decided to keep it as my resolution for this year. I made it a point that I will not fall for it this time. Not at least before the winters are completely gone and summers are in. But like they say, love...huh...love, after a stage instead of you controlling it, it controls you, it drives you, it makes you do things without using your brains, without seeing your present state, your past list of broken rules. Today in front of you all, I am confessing this that yes I am in love. I am in love with shopping. Yes you heard it correct dear toastmasters my love is shopping. I know it’s hard to avoid shopping but believe me even harder when you see something which you wanted to buy since you saw it once on Priyanka Chopra in Aitraaz movie.

It all happened this Saturday, 21^st Jan 2012. I was going back home after having a fun filled time in CSC for our OTP (Officer's Training Program) when suddenly this idea of visiting GIP (Great India Place) stuck me. I wanted to step back; I wanted to suppress the excitement but could not control and landed up in Wills Lifestyle showroom.

I didn’t plan to buy anything, it was just window shopping that was in my mind but I found that b’ful white colored shirt. Ohh it was amazing, exactly the design I was looking for. The sudden change in my tone and excitement was caught by my dear friend. She sensed the fishiness that was going on in my mind right then. She signaled me to move backwards but the shopping butterflies already made their place in not just my stomach but in complete me. I could not move my eyes off it and ended up trying it. I don’t know if I was praying to get the perfect fit or rather an imperfect fit so that I can avoid buying it. But it seemed even my wardrobe corner needed one more new shirt with them because it was the only piece and had a perfect fit. Even my friend couldn’t avoid saying ‘Deepika take it, it’s really good’ I winked and started for billing area. But wait a minute, these shop attendants I must say, they are appropriately trained to convince customers to buy more stuff. This guy came and said, ma'm just a shirt, try this trouser with it, I am sure you will like it. Ohh now I googled my brain for a black trouser and oh my God, found none in my wardrobe. The shirt trouser pair looked tempting together, so I had to try that as well and gosh what should I say, it was killing. So within a wink I was at the billing desk paying for both of them. Meanwhile I was avoiding the eye contact with my dear friend, she being one of the witnesses of this New Year resolution which was that I will not shop again in these winters. I had already spent so much that was feeling guilty but now I am not. While she was scolding me on buying them, I was deciding on the day I would wear them. But ohh no, not again, how could I forget it. I do not have matching footwear’s. Now I was really afraid (to change) of telling her this. But you see I had to; because I had to buy them that day itself else I would have ended up having nightmares for the same. Ohh God help me, how should I convey this to her. And God actually did help; she stopped and said as far as I know you, you must be thinking about buying matching footwear’s for them. I looked above and said Thank you God, you really understand the importance of wearing matching and complementing stuff these days. And my way out of GIP was relieved, peaceful and satisfied. Neglecting the pain of making a big hole in my pocket myself, I was happy and truly excited. Aaahh what a Saturday it was, before I used to get tired by doing shopping but that day I ended my tiredness by doing shopping. Weird isn’t it. I love myself so I do things that keep me happy. One of it is shopping though it’s a costly affair for me all the times but this is what I am earning for, to do what I want to do. That day I learned one thing, one should not stop doing things that brings a smile on their face, a relaxed sleep at night. In my case, it was shopping, in your case it could be something else. Remember one thing, you have got just one life to live, and how long it is you don’t know. You just know that you are alive at this very moment and you have the opportunity to make yourself happy. Just stay happy and have that smile on your face always. This reminds me of an inspiring line by McDowell’s ‘It’s your life, make it large’ off course not by drinking soda all the time but by staying happy. It’s your responsibility to look after yourself, you are responsible of letting yourself have that peace of mind, have that nice relaxing sleep every night. No one else will come and bother to make you happy. It’s just you, you and you who should be concerned about it at first place.

After that day I made a small change in my resolution, which I am going to stick to forever. The resolution is to do everything that makes me happy as long as it is not getting converted into a habit. Habits are healthy till the time you can completely control or eliminate them whenever required. It is just one life and we all have long list of to-dos with us, that undoubtedly include things with a pinch of naughtiness, craziness too so enjoy every moment. Rightly said by someone, ‘Nobody remember the days they attended lectures attentively in college but yes all of us remember all our bunked classes and college time trips with friends. Don’t we? So why do we always keep on saying that college time was fun. I wish I could go back and re-live those moments. Come on guys, it’s the same life and same you. What is stopping you to enjoy again. The real peace does not lie in just being a good resource of your project but it also lies in having that satisfaction that you are still the same ever smiling, full of life person of your college or school days. Life is just a race for those who want to run, but it’s a b’ful journey for those who wish to travel. The choice is yours. I have made my choice now it’s your turn. So my message for all shopping freaks like me is to just chill and happy shopping again.

Customer Care

Tring Tring
It was 2:00 pm, I was sleeping at home. Dint go to office that day because I was down with fever. I half opened my eyez to see who is callin. It was a Noida number. Damn I said, these office guyz,can't they spare a poor unwell gal like me 4 even a day. Dint they see my leave mail. I was so sleepy, I ignored it and thought of callin back after waking up. After few minutes again it rang, tring tring...having lost my sleep and gaining my level of irritation, I made myself in a position to attend it.

Hello Deepika this side.
The voice from other side said in a typical customer care executive's tone: Hello Miss Deepika. I am Amit calling from Sony Products - Noida. May I have few minutes of yours.

I looked at the screen of my phone as if its the person's face and gave a devilish look. But poor me, I dint even hav the energy of growling at him for disturbing my sleep so
I said ok go on. N he started. Miss Deepika I am very pleased to inform you that you have been selected as one of the lucky winners of our “Festive bonanza offer”.
I tuk it as any other regular call and said sarcastically “ok, so wat hav I won?? a holiday package in Mauritius or a brand new Sony Xperia??”
He remained calm and said in a very polite voice, No mam, actually this offer had a rule.
I added more spice to my sarcastic voice and said, “Ohh, so theres a condition too...wow and wats dat”. He said, “ You hav won the same item that you bought from us last month from Shipra Mall-Noida”

Wait a minute!
Shipra mall Noida?? I revisited my mind's history and came up with a result which was ' A digital Photo Frame' By Sony. Ohh immediately my interest in the person's rubbish talk took a fresh dive. My voice immediately turned sweet and concerned.

I said , Ok yeah I shopped from your store last month. So tell me about this offer.
He cleared his throat and said. “ Yes mam, as per our records you bought a Digital Photo Frame on 20th June from Sony India store Shipra Mall-Noida”. Please correct me if I am wrong.

I got so excited about this offer that I said, Yes yes I remember it correctly now. I bought it for one of my friends as a gift.
He again cleared his throat and said in polite manner, “ Yes mam so as per the conditions of our Festive Bonanza Offer you will get the same item as a prize from us, that is a Digital Photo Frame”. Congratulations mam.

At that very instant my fever got converted into a chilled wave of excitement, my unconsciousness into alertness, and my sweet tone turned sweeter.

With a heavy over excited heart, I said ,'Ohh Thank you'. So what am I required to do now?
I could not stop imagining that gift on my side table in my room with beautiful pictures moving in it one after the another. I even finalized the pix in my mind which I wil put in the photo frame once I have it for real with me. I got so lost in it that it required 3-4 continuous 'Hellos' from the other side to bring me back in this world and finally in the phone conversation.

I promptly answered to him, “Yes sorry got a li'l busy, can you pls come again”
He then repeated his sentence which had the things that I need to do to get my gift. N believe me after hearing that my heart broke, dreams shattered and, hope vainshed.
Because I was required to take the bill to the shop to get the gift. N since it was my gift to a friend. There was no chance that I would be having its bill with me.
I asked him if there is some thing else that I can show as a proof that I bought the gift. He denied. I quickly jumped from my bed and rushed towards my drawer which usually is filled with my bank mini statements, shopping bills, and recharge or topup coupons.

At that very moment my love and longing for that digital photo frame rose higher. I asked the guy to hold on and started looking for it. N Bingo, there it was. I found it. I loved and hugged myself for keeping it with me and yeah for the first time I loved my habit of keeping my drawer full with such waste papers.

I tried my best to sound sober and not over excited and said to him that I have the bill.
He said in a happy voice that ok pls get this bill to us by tomorrow to our store and take your gift. Ohh I realised that I hav fever and might not be able to make it to office even tomorrow. I asked him if I can collect it day after tomorrow. To this he said that they hav 2 lucky winners for it. I will hav to collect it tomorrow else it will be given to the other person. Keeping in mind my love for the photo frame that was induced ever since I decided to buy it for my frnd, I said ok, I will collect it tomorrow itself. I noted his name and contact no and hung up.

I was so thrilled and proud that yes I am the chosen one. Out of so many people it was me who got lucky. I was not able to grasp the excitement and I needed some1 to share this great news with. The first name that striked my mind was Samba's. Samba went with me to buy the gift so I thought of making him jealous with this effortless achievement.

I cald him up, he picked up. I narrated to him the whole story as quickly as possible. After I took my breath, he said, you know what Dpka you shud give that gift to me. You see it was me who went with me to buy the gift, so I am the lucky charm for you.
I ignored his sentence and said, we will see. First of all reserve your one hour for me. You are going with me to take that gift tomorrow. He agreed and shared this news with another common friend of us. The other friend took the phone and said 'so finally Dpka got the bill'. By the way Dpka, dont u remember the number from which you got the call. I was puzzled. After few seconds I heard both of them laughing like hell. I still did not understand what was so funny in it.

Samba took the phone and said, “ Dpka mam, I am callin from Sony India – Shipra mall-Noida, and I am very happy to announce that you are the new bakra (scapegoat) for today”.

I could feel smoke comin out of my ears, anger flooding in my eyes, and my hands turning into a tight fist. I shouted on him for about 10 mins, and finally could not control and burst into laughter. I was literally gasping for breath. The point that he played a prank with me and he was the first person whom I told about it . This all made me very angry on myself and at the same time I was feeling pity for myself.

I now play very safe with all such calls and yeah keep a check on the no. I make sure that the no is not atleast Noida GIC bldg's number. That was the day and today is the day, whenever I get confused about any gift, he is ready with an option, Dpka Mam why dont you give a Digital Photo Frame by Sony India – Shipra Mall Noida. I will come with you to buy it, really and I end up grinnig my teeths from outside and laughing from within.

Memorable Birthday

Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday dear Laddoo, Happy Birthday to you.- this was the birthday song sung by 4 best friends together trying to sound melodious and stentorian at the same time. But screwed all the sur and taal in it, seriously.

Wondering who this laddoo is and yeah you all must hav guessed that such a starting will surely going to lead to a story of 5 gud..no actually 5 best frnds ..

Let me straighten the things for you…

Laddoo is a nick name of a gal who got this name just like dat…out of the blues…with no single resemblance with that sweet…It was more of an accident or I should say a prank to tease me…yeah yeah I know you all are clever enough to guess that its me…

And to correct you, it is not about 5 best frnds but 4, 2 he devils n 2 she devils…still got confused with my starting line ‘song sung by 4 best frnd together’.. hmm…actually I was forced to sing it with them on my own birthday and call myself a laddoo…ewww…such are these best friends…they make you do such ultra irritating things to yourself on any day let go of being it your budday…

That day in the college I was forced to carry 2 biggg bouquets of flowers in my hands with a birthday cap on my head. Which I somehow managed to hide in some1’s bag. Thank God. I feel that frnds have the right to act childish all the time and you can expect them to do all stupid weird things very easily and they seems to enjoy it…Being the budday gal, I was the sufferer that day but yeah I never compromised on such fun when some1 else’s cake n pocket was cutting…I was an introvert kindda gal in college days…so I used to hide myself in my li’l grp of friends…but that day they sang that not so melodious birthday rhyme in every period, every class, even evry corridor, which resulted in so many wishes from every1 around me. I was being treated as a special person which I wanted to avoid. I wanted to make it as simple as any other day but with such devils around me it got tougher. Day was passing but I knew their zest of adding more spice to my bigg day will keep on rising. I was prepared to encounter more such shocks oops surprises because the cake dint show up till then. And the moment came. They blindfolded me, took me to one of the classes in top floor and left me. There was pin drop silence. Realising that it could be their next prank, I immediately untied the cloth on my eyez. Even before I could feel the light in my eyez, my eardrums instantly vibrated. Those 3 devils were singing a song for me again with a candle lit cake in middle, a small cute gift wrapped box placed aside and funny cartoon budday caps on their heads. To my astonishment it was not that same non-melodious budday song but ‘ye kaali kaali aankhen tu ru ru, tu ru ru, ye gore gore gaal’. By the end of that song we were laughing uncontrolablly. When I went to cut the cake, offcrse as expected, it was written Happy budday dear laddoo… while I was cutting it they were getting prepared with their arms and shield to attack on it and grab the biggest piece of it only after making a mess of my face offrcse...now you can guess why I call them devils, and yeah that gift box…wondering what was there in it….lots of small laddoos…in all colors…so before eating I enquired just to confrm ‘are they edible’…to this they all shouted “yes laddoo they are edible”…and within a wink the cake and laddoos were inside their tummies and forcefully in mine.

Then one He devil shouted , lets run now laddoo…we have not ate since y’day..we were preparing ourselves for your birthday treat you see. I knew this thing that i had all big foodies in my group. We went to Pizza hut and placed our order. After some time I heard some1 say “ this is for the birthday gal, laddoo” I quickly turned around and found that two of the attendants were dancing and in no time my table had no1 but just me…my friends also joined them in the dance…I was surprised as well as terrified because I knew now I am going to be their scapegoat…they pulled me and started clapping…finally I capitulated and joined them in it...it was less of dance n more of fun that we did…we thanked those two attendants and came to fill in our tummies…this was how my birthday went… Though I was reacting as if I wanted to avoid such ‘youre special today’ treatment, but inside I knew that this bunch of people means life to me…they kind of define the term ‘friendship’ in my life…being a friend is simple but being equally irritating and lovable at a time is the miracle only best friends can do…I had a wonderful birthday which I can never forget. Thanks to my He and She devils…Love you guyz…you break all records in irritating me and still manage to make me smile…

Blissful Journey

I packed my bags till 2:00 am at night
And slept with dreams of my vacation in sight
Nothing can beat sleeping again after waking up early in the morning
But with such level of excitement and curiosity I ended up with just yawning
Blow of cool breeze were gently patting my cheeks, and brushing my hairs
Soon I was swayed in the dreams of my delusive world with mountains and hills everywhere

With this you all must have figured it out what I am talking about. It’s about my recent family trip to two beautiful hill stations in India - Mussoorie and Rishikesh. Being a Delhiite, I always look forward to holidays on Fridays and Mondays. Three days are enough to have a perfect short trip to nearby places. It was Monday when I realized that we had a holiday on Friday. I immediately prepared the list of places which can be explored. Mussoorie and Rishikesh topped the list. 1st reason being they both have beautiful scenic beauty and 2^nd reason goes to my everlasting love for capturing them.

While on my way, for some time I was struggling on how to avoid such scorching sun rays which were coming straight on my face through the side window. It was nettlesome. I was continuously hopping from one side to another to get past them but very soon I got glued to my seat. Sunrays just dint matter then; we were circling the huge mountains and going up and up and up. I had never been to such hill station before so the scene was mesmerizing. I even forgot my camera for some time; my eyes were busy absorbing the nature’s beauty. Mountains, trees, clouds, road and cars this was aaaall I could see. Never before I saw so much green and blue around me. There were mountains everywhere, huge, small, tall, broad. I somehow went back to my school days and realized that in all the paintings I made, I just dint do justice to the beauty of these mountains, for me making them was as simple as drawing a tick mark upside down. Even when I could see those beautiful creations all lined up in front of me, then also I felt that my camera will not be able to capture its real beauty. Not that the camera was not having big expensive lenses but keeping a moment of this beautiful journey in a still image would not have been worth. I was truly captivated by the atmosphere around me. We kept circling and circling and soon we were in the mall road and finally in our hotel. That night we had been enjoying at the mall road. Next day I woke up at 5 in the morning, it was extremely cold but I could not afford to miss the early morning view over there. I took my camera and went out. With every passing second the view got perfect. It was as if every next second was beating and challenging the beauty of past second. I clicked some pictures and came back. Soon we packed again and started for kempty fall and finally for Rishikesh. Kempty fall was a perfect place to refresh yourself. Sun was at its high but the cool breeze from the fall made us forget that. We spent some time over there and then left for Rishikesh.

On the ghats of Rishikesh, there were devotees praying, some youngsters rafting, children playing, boatmen shouting but still there was some sense of peace over there which was soothing enough to make us realize that this is a holy place and not any regular ghat. Devotion comes from within as soon as you enter such blessed place. The temple as seen from the other side of the holy Ganga river was completely drenched in colorful lights and the air was filled with enchants and aartis. We crossed the river and entered the temple. Mahaaarti was about to begin in 10 mins so we got settled by the river side. The belief in God, pure vibes in the air, sun dissolving in the river, pooja thali in our hands and aarti sung by all in unison took us into a different world for some time. That 1 hour was the best part of my trip. After it got completed we saw the complete temple and came back. Wow, what a trip it was…in the end I would like to say

Every moment of this short trip made me satisfied and glad
It would not have turned better, wow what a blissful journey I had!!!

My first sight love !!

You want to see my latest crush?? Come I will show it to you on Internet. I opened the website and said to my friend. Here it is, now tell me how did you find it. He scrutinized it from one tab to another and finally after making some in-mind calculations, he said, “hmm, its good, now don’t think anymore and go for it”. You have already spent a month searching for a good option.

I said to myself, yes I know but I will have to wait for some more days to convince my parents for it. I had to convince them at any cost. I was a sure shot victim of ‘Love at first sight’. Wow, what features it had, what memory, and yes not to forget the 5MP camera with Carl Zeiss lenses. Wait a sec, will you all please stop running your horses, I am talking about my Nokia X6 touch screen phone. It is a perfect match for me.

This strange love story started when my then phone got switched off all of a sudden. My heart started pounding, my contact list, messages, and all my favorite images flashed in front of my eyes. I thought I will lose them all. I cursed myself for not taking their backup before. But being an optimist person, I started saying to myself, Deepika this is the last chance. Take backup as soon as the phone restarts this time. You already have delayed it. This is the 5^th time the phone got switched off in this month. Finally after some hit and trial, it restarted. I immediately took its backup. Then I thought this is the time I should look out for a new phone and this time a touch screen one. After running all sorts of comparison, brand value tests, best user interface records, I chose Nokia X6. Now was the time to convince my parents for it.

Dad, dad it has got 16GB internal memory, I can store so much data in it + look at its interface mumma, its so user friendly, even you guys can play around with it and use it. Mumma gave me a convincing smile and signaled me to convince Dad. Wow things are always so easy with mumma. I continued, Dad at least look at it, you are saying No without even looking at it. He looked at me and said, why do you want only thing phone? Why not any other phone. He continued, “I saw one phone yesterday, Nokia xyz model with camera, FM for just Rs 6000. That is also a good option. Spending 15000 on a phone is nothing but showoff. I know most of its attractive features will go unused. Dad was done. Now it was my turn. I started, ‘C’mon Dad, there is a big difference in your option and mine. Mine has got Carl Zeiss lenses, 16 GB memory, secondary camera, Nokia OVI Store. Dad it’s a smart phone.

To this Dad said, “Every phone is smart if it can make a call and receive one. This is what phones are for.” And the topic was closed for the day.

Damn it, I will have to start over again tomorrow from the scratch. I ate my dinner and slept. As time waits for none, it neither waited for me. 5 days past. This time dad asked me, “Ok so tell me, what phone you finalized?” I said in a low voice, I don’t need any. Though I knew I might succeed this time but still I kept my mum. After a long pause, he said Ok your wish and mumma and dad both laughed. I wasted no more time and said, c’mon dad you can give it as my b’day gift. Oops, I realized that my b’day is 5 months far. Damn, in no time I added advance, advance b’day gift and we all burst into laughter. Next day we went for buying it. I was so excited that very soon I will have this Azure colored touch screen smart phone in my hands. But the excitement faded when the shop attendant said,” Sorry mam, we do not have Azure color in 16GB set, it comes only in 8GB model”. I quickly exchanged glances with my sis and said with a heavy heart. Ok, Azure 8GB for me. It came, I showed it to dad and sis, they both smiled and we bought it. I felt very copacetic that my 40 day struggle ended. I now am a proud owner of a beautiful Azure colored Nokia X6 8GB set.

This time muma and dad said, now handle it carefully. This is your 5^th phone in past 8 years. I winked and said. “Ohho! I am smart enough to handle this smart phone smartly” and I continued exploring it. This was our story and we are living happily together from then and will continue till I find my next “first sight love”.

AMUSING VISION..

Sun travelling back down the see taking a deep dive,
Moon is on its way to make this night again alive,
Sky covered itself in a black satin making everything darker like a cave,
A flash of light penetrated through it and striked the shouting waves.
Silence spread everywhere making the sea look like a beautiful bed,
When came one soul in two bodies who sat around to celeberate ahead.
They talked, they laughed, they giggled and they fell into each other’s arms,
Both thinking that the other forgot this precious day that could add a miraculous charm.
Holding hands in hands together, looking at each other’s eyes,
They melted into each other to be one with passing time,
Suddenly waves started rippling again, their heartbeat turned faster with joy,
When they both wished each other a HAPPY VALENTINE!!

EYES & TEARS-TRUE CONVEYOR..

Consoling sm1 in pain seemed a tough task before,
It’s TOUGHER to be that sm1-showed me a person whom I adore.
Sympathizing words could incise deep inside,
I realized this when was barracked & everyone took aside.
Thoughts engulfed me completely, body turned stiff,
Eyes filled with tears, slowly rolling down the cliff.
Tears rolled down one after another & eyes remained close,
So lost in myself that I even forgot to take my breath dose.
Questions were chasing, conditions demanding, answers were out of reach,
Collecting myself, controlling tears by ordering them to immediately cease.
Eyes swollen, tears floating, nothing could I see,
Still scratching the past to look deeper but found no one just me.
Have read in books, heard in stories, situations even force a heart to break,
I was sleeping & waiting silently till now for one day-to rise, to awake.
Broken was my heart, broken was my soul,
Broken was my patience to handle it any more.
Tough time came when I realized that my life is not just mine,
I will have to live for others who would be affected seeing me in spines.
Welcomed the mid night with reddening in my eyes,
Lay on the bed to set a new fresh sight.
Tried to stop thinking, forced myself to relax,
Locking all the memories put into the stacks.
Eyes were closed, heart was dead, alive were the long breaths of mine,
Lost in the silence, searching for the support, hoping things would go fine.
Eyes were sleeping, thoughts were sleeping, night turned everything paralyzed,
Dreams took me into nightlong journey, makings things simplified.
Morning came I opened my eyes, for few seconds unaware of the last night,
Stood up straight with a smile, when a glance on ‘that’ forced me again to fight.
Fighting with my thoughts, fighting with the situation, fighting with the pain that I swallowed,
Thing that reminded me of all this was WET TEARS SPOTS all over my pillow.
Tried to escape, to suppress myself, covering myself behind the walls,
But eyes & tears revealed the reality & easily conveyed it all….

9 Months Pain..

When everyone was talking about their life, a question was raised “ Who can tell the importance of 9 months?” A girl responded. She knew the real meaning of 9 months. No she was not a mother; she was a girl who gave birth 9 months before. And it was not a baby, it was a relationship, a beautiful relationship that was growing on the field of trust, her trust on God, her trust on that person with whom she was sharing her relationship. This baby was growing day by day with maturity in him, faith in him, love in him. The girl & the boy both were very happy with the baby. They nurtured their baby whole-heartedly with no fear, no doubts in them. Leaving all the sweet memories in the light, time was running to go through that dark night, a night that brought a storm with it. A storm that was trying harder to weaken their rope of relationship, to snatch away their baby from them, to sway him along with it.
God was looking everything, the boy was standing; the girl was screaming to protect her baby, to close the windows, to shut the door. Neither did the storm stopped, nor did the boy moved. Girl was left standing at the doors & looking for the baby whom she could see but couldn’t catch. The baby was crying with his arms in the air but the poor girl was not able to protect him. She needed the support, support of her God, support of her love. Baby was being pulled far away & the girl was left alone with no one with her. Suddenly everything was snatched away from her, every dream was lost in that storm of reality, a bitter reality that she was alone, all alone to cry, to yell, to scream. She couldn’t face herself. She was blaming herself for not being so strong to protect her baby, for not being so pure at heart that God didn’t stop the storm.
A baby that was more than anything for that girl was no longer alive, just ashes of the fire was left. The fire of all the memories, those were burning inside her heart. For her, those 9 months were looking like ages that were dedicated to the baby & now even a glimpse of 1-day looks like ages to spend. Now she is all alone, smiling at other’s happiness, crying on her fate & living b’coz she has came in this heartless, emotionless world to do so. She was always there when baby needed her & about that boy…doesn’t he had any responsibilities, shouldn’t he care for the baby?? If he was worried about him why didn’t he come forward to help, to protect his baby, his relationship, his love. Girl was standing at the door with one hand outside the door for the baby & another inside for her love.
When the girl asked the boy the reason for doing all this, he remained silent. That silence was more painful than the shouts of that storm. No one was there who can answer her questions. Who is responsible for all this? The girl for not being able to protect her baby?, The boy for not being able to take a step forward? Or the God for binding them in this relationship & giving them a sweet baby? A baby that came silently with no pain but when he was gone after 9 months, he shattered everything, took all the happiness, left his mum in this darker world where she is still standing for a ray of hope from her love, from her God.
This 9-month pain was not the pain before the birth but it’s the pain felt after the birth of the baby. A pain that is scratching the past, holding the present to protect the future; to get the answer. The answer is yet to come…Whose fault is it?????

Silence…

When silence shouts in air, when no one is around,
A kind of loneliness comes from within and takes me away from surround.
A feeling that can’t be explained, comes like a spark,
That soon becomes light and takes me into the dark.
In light of dark I see just two people together,
Who met to be separated with prayers continuously being uttered.
No one is to blame, no one is happy instead,
We are mere puppets and can’t change our fate.
Delighted by the meeting but in different respect,
One is moving away with a hope of being in touch.
Nobody can change the golden words that are prewritten for all,
But still one wants to fight for getting only falls.
Want to ask a question, why are all not blessed,
If there is equality in God’s court, why only few are kept under shed.
One wants to fight and stop, as fate can’t be changed,
May be someone else is made for him & so my doors are hinged.
I know my destiny is he & no one can help me out,
Neither I want to lose him nor can I go & shout.
When he will be far away with not even his shade,
I will still pray for his success & his ultimate fate.
With a faith in my god I will ask for his happiness forever,
Whether he still remembers me or not I will forget him never.

If I Could....

If I could change my past, I would shuffle those days…
Day when I met u for the first time, will make them younger in age..

Coz I got the meaning of my life only after u stepped into it…
I would love to live 1 day more, if u were to be a part of that day even a bit..

U r my day, u r my way, u r a reason for me to move ahead…I pray every day to God to keep u happy & fine under his shade…..

Someone...

Most painful feeling in life comes when u miss someone,
Someone who is very far away from u,
Someone for whom u care without any bounds,
Someone for whom u pray before any other prayer,
Someone whom u love out of your limits,
Someone with whom u want to be every moment,
Someone with whom u want to share his sorrows,
Someone who always finds u with him regardless of the distance,
Someone whom u can see with your eyes closed,
Someone whom u can hear without his presence,
Someone for whom u wait every day with the strongest hope,
Someone who is in everyone’s heart yet is just yours,
Someone who is not only life of your love but is love of your life..

Prayers….

Days begin early, days end fast,
Time is running & again I m hurt.
Same story is repeating every day,
Creeping to change it but can’t change my way.
Situations getting worse every moment,
I m left alone in a corner with my knees bend.
Pleading to God to stop the time,
Can’t walk more on this endless line.
Lost in d world of sorrow with ignorance everywhere,
Searching for a hope but can’t see anyone near.
Can’t be more patient, can’t bear the pain,
Am tired of living like a lifeless fellow with water running in my veins.
Life is still & m being forced to move,
Following him at every step just to be with him.
Slightest thought of him makes me satisfied & smile,
Time when I was happy for myself is far behind no. of miles.
I think of him in day, I think of him at night,
Suddenly 1 day my inner soul asked me “Am I going right”???
I answered to myself “To live the life as u want”,
My brain was thinking deeply but my heart didn’t respond.
What fate holds for me next I am not aware,
Just want his happiness & success that’s start & end of my prayers.